My notes from this article:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/shape-childrens-behavior
- Praise
- Consequences
- Selectively ignore
- Reward if needed
- Reminding
- Negotiate
- Privileges
One. Praise specifically, "You did a good job cleaning your room.”, “That’s a good decision.” or “I like the way you used lots of color in this picture.” Sincerity is in the specifics.
- Great job
- Way to go
- Good work
You don’t have to praise, or even acknowledge, things he just does for the joy of it, for his own reasons. Planned exercise - write down how many times you praised and how many times you criticized for a day. Praises need to outnumber criticisms.
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Two. When parents don’t expect obedience, they generally don’t get it. Reaction to an action (consequences), taking 'privileges' away:
- YouTube
- tomorrow
- rest of the week
- next week too
- Tablet games
- tomorrow
- rest of the week
- next week too
- Friends
- Timeout
- 5
- 10
- Writing
- Lying
- quicksand of deceit
- I mean you lie—under a mistake.
- Show me a liar, and I will show thee a thief.
- For no falsehood can endure.
- Whose tongue soe'er speaks false, Not truly speaks; who speaks not truly, lies.
- A liar is not believed even though he tell the truth.
- Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
- Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.
- what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive!
- You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.
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Three. Ignore the little things, such as boys being boys.
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Four. Reward charts may smooth progress. Add yourself to the chart with a longer goal, just remember: keep it simple, make it fun (KISMIF). The first reward chart I made was of ten spaces. After an hour of learning (computer programming) code, for me, and after 30 min. of learning any language, for them, a sticker was gained. After ten, ideally made within two weeks, came a prize. A similar method is the ticket system. Giving or taking tickets for good or bad behaviour. It works on the spot.
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Five. A preemptive reminder is preventative. The situation will be when you see them do something, an action that may lead to a bad action, and think to yourself, "Should I stop them completely...while waiting to see what happens..." Instead, toss a reminder into the mix for less hypertension.
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Six. Everyone wins when cutting deals. Just don't bother if they're moody or mad. And don't compromise on things where there should be no room for it.
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Seven. Withdraw privileges, matching to the misbehaviour is best.
Six. Everyone wins when cutting deals. Just don't bother if they're moody or mad. And don't compromise on things where there should be no room for it.
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Seven. Withdraw privileges, matching to the misbehaviour is best.
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